Mr. Thomas Hugsy Cuddleson...my new bedtime pal!

It is almost 1:30 am and I am still awake. I really have no idea what my problem is. But for the past month I don't think I have been asleep any earlier than midnight.

Don't worry, next week I will be watching my three wee nephews and will once again be on Ace Standard Time...up at 6:30 am and asleep by 10 pm. I am looking forward to a weekend of play and fun. Turns out I have a lot more childlikeness in me than I realize.

For instance, today I purchased a Hot Hugs stuffed animal. Basically the little guy has a lavender scented beanie pouch in his tummy that I can remove and stick in the microwave. Once it is heated I insert back into the belly of the lion, giving me a hot huggable little guy,! :) I have named my new bedtime pal Mr. Thomas Hugsy Cuddleson. He was named Thomas after my friend Kristi Thomas, who serves as my counselor/best friend/analytical partner in crime. She is wonderful and has walked with me through my many neurosis. She has proved especially faithful through our 7,000 mile distance. We chat every day on gmail and she lets me go on and on and on about all sorts of things, and always reminds me of Christ and the freedom found in Him...she is a wonderful friend and well...I named my stuffed animal after her!

Hugsy comes from FRIENDS, and Cuddleson is...well.. this thing is just too cuddly. ;)

I think I am trying to do replacement therapy with the stuffed animal due to the extreme sadness I feel for missing my dogs.

I also purchased a book light, which for some reason thrilled me beyond belief. I made shadow puppets on my ceiling tonight when I couldn't fall asleep...I should be around kids more! I am not really 27 am I?

As of late I have been occupying my mind with worries of the future. What am I going to do with my degree? What type of career am I qualified for? and so on. It seems to be that everything of interest (teaching, library or museum work) would require me to once again further my education. Does anyone have interest in supporting a lifetime student?

I know it may seem silly to worry about something that is a year off, but I find myself in an interesting predicament here...I have the actual problem of being deported. If I do not have full-time employment before January 2010, I will have to leave the country...and that is something that I do not want to do.

If it were up to me, which it isn't, I would stay here permanently (of course with long visits home). But, this situation along with many others, are requiring me to trust in the Lord's will. Why is it so hard to grasp that the Lord is sovereign? It is so very easy to say, but to submit to the notion that God is all powerful and will work in each and every moment regardless of what I do or don't do...well, it is mind blowing.

I also decided, today actually, to start writing. I believe it is something I am supposed to do, in one way or another, with my life. Yet, as I briefly mentioned in my last entry, it is something that terrifies me. So I am going to attempt to write more...even if it is just blog entries. I need to get used to this. Hold me to if folks! :) (I hate the word folks, I have no idea why I used it).

I haven't written much at all about the very reason why I am in this country...my graduate work! :) It is all going well. The educational structure is vastly different from the US. The student has more freedom with his/her time. The basis for marking academic progress is through a total of four essays and one dissertation. There are no tests or other assignments (well actually that is not true, there are a few small pass/fail assignments). However these essays are taken up a few notches from anything else I have done. There is much more required of me in the breadth and depth of my knowledge, research and original ideas.

Right now I am mulling over a handful of essay topics. As soon as they are solidified I will let you all know what I will be writing about.

There are about 12 people in the Vic Lit program. They are all so wonderful and nice. I have already become close with a handful of them and really enjoy learning from them.

Tomorrow my topic course (which would be similar to an elective) will be in an anatomy museum. I will get to look at body parts in jars! :)

Also, I am repeatedly made fun of for calling our courses "class," here they are referred to as "seminar." To me a seminar is something you do to learn about finances or 5 Ways to a Healthier You. ;) But so goes the multitude of differences between the Americans and the Scots.

Well, I will be heading out now. I am not sure how coherent any of this is, seeing that it is near 2 am. :)

Much love to you crazy kids! :)

Jac